Rejection is something that everyone goes through at some point in their lives, whether it’s through dating relationships, friendships, careers, family, etc. It comes in all shapes and sizes, and has the irritating ability to crush our hearts with every strike. Growing up, rejection seemed to follow me.
I was rejected by my peers for being “prude”, “goody two shoes”, or labeled as “stuck up.” I was never fully accepted by a lot of people because of the melanin in my skin, or even lack thereof. I grew up with a family member that seemed to spend his whole life trying to put me down with his words. Every day, I would hear things like, “No one cares”, “You’re stupid”, “You’re ugly”, “No one likes you”, “No one wants you. No one ever will”. On top of that, I was in a church that taught on condemnation. I spent almost a decade as a child in this church where they preached that God was just waiting for you to do something wrong so He could clobber you over the head with His judgement mallet and damn you for all eternity. This brought this awful feeling that even God was just waiting to reject me! Nothing in me was good enough.
It was not long until I started to believe this was true and I began to reject myself. I no longer saw my worth and my value. I yearned for acceptance: to be seen, to be known, to be loved. As a result, I felt I had to perform and be the center of attention just to be seen! This later drove me to people pleasing, unhealthy friendships, bad and emotionally abusive relationships. I ended up compromising and seeking affirmation from men because I was trying to prove to them that I was worthy of love. I gave chunks of my heart away to people that didn’t deserve it and didn’t deserve me because I was terrified of being alone and being rejected. And the more I did that, the more rejection, fear, and distrust seemed to follow me.
Within the last few years, my relationship with God started to grow. Even though I had always known of God, I didn’t KNOW Him, His character, or His love. My relationship with Him throughout my life was out of obligation. I almost to got to the point of giving up even trying, because I felt like all I did was fail Him. Then one day, I felt this stirring in my heart to go to this ministry school in Pemba, Mozambique. I ended up getting accepted and went. During that time, my relationship with God grew. I started seeing who He really was! It was like He was wooing me and showing me His love in the most precious ways. I had never experienced this side of God before; His kindness, His goodness, His attentiveness.
I ended up hearing a message there that changed my life! It was all about taking our rightful place as Sons and Daughters of God and what that entails. This realization of who I was to God hit me like a ton of bricks! I learned that I am His Daughter, His Princess; eternally accepted, loved, protected, and safe. I didn’t have to strive for His love and acceptance, I already had it and that’s truly all that mattered. No one could tell me otherwise! From that moment on, I decided to lift up my head, straighten my crown, and walk in the identity I was always intended to walk in. Once I did that, the chains of rejection that had encompassed my heart started breaking off and falling to the ground. It wasn’t weighing me down any longer!
I wish I could say that after that moment, rejection was no longer an issue. The truth is, it’s a daily choice that I have to make and walk in. When rejection tries to creep in, I immediately REJECT IT. It takes changing our perspective and walking in who we are. We have to take every thought of rejection captive and let God continue to speak truth and life into us. It’s definitely a process but a process that brings so much freedom! Anyone can walk up to a Princess and try to put her down, convince her she is not worthy, tell her that she is not who she thinks she is. However, at the end of the day, she knows who her Father is and NOTHING AND NO ONE can change that. As long as HE is KING, SHE is ROYALTY.
So whether you experience rejection in relationships, friendships, careers, whatever, It is NOT you that’s the issue, it is NOT a sign of your unworthiness, but God using what the enemy intended to bring you down as weeding out the things that are not His best for your life. It’s protection. It’s love. It’s God wanting only the absolute best for His daughters. That’s my encouragement to anyone who has a hard time with rejection. Let the truth of who you are as a Daughter of The King sink deep into your heart. Live it, Breathe it, Walk in it!